Mother's Day

Due to my tremendous discomfort and rambling thoughts, I couldn't sleep past 5am yesterday. I knew I would be tired, but that did little to help me go back to sleep. I decided to get up and feed the growling stomach that was contributing to my insomnia. So I was awake when my children came wandering into the kitchen.

"Flowers!" my two year old exclaims as she scrambles to climb onto the table and attack the rose filled vase. The temptation to touch was overwhelming though I repeatedly explained, "The flowers are for smelling, not for touching. . ." She drew in breath after breath with a huge grin. You'd have thought the bouquet was for her.

My five year old looks to see if I've read her card inscribed in her own handwriting, "You are the bust Mom ever!" Yeah! I win! It's little compensation for all I've done, but I'm grateful for the love, recognition and appreciation from my sweet children and husband who has gone out of his way to get some things done out and around the house on his unexpected reprieve from work. For this I am grateful.

I think of my sacrifices as a mother:

1. When I go shopping, I think of what my husband and kids need first. If there's anything left over I might consider something for myself and then justify that I don't really need it because I've already spent too much on them. I might buy a candy bar that I hide so that it isn't gone before I get a bite and then feel guilty about it later.

2. Each week I look at the pile of laundry and attack my husband's work clothes first so he has something to wear. Then I attack the huge pile of children's clothes that seem to multiply exponentially - but they really ARE dirty so . . .

3. I walk through the house daily picking up toys and papers and snack wrappers/crumbs that were left haphazardly by my children and husband on their way to more important adventures only to retrace my steps to find MORE. . . it's never ending.

4. I clean up poop, and more poop and hold my tired waking daughter as she pees all over me. The thrills of potty training.

5. Chasing off the aggressive neighbor's dogs as they terrorize my children and the cat. Still waiting for a functioning fence to be built so I can reclaim my stolen back yard.

6. Dealing with raging hormones that get the best of me using volume and/or tones of voice that I immediately regret followed by apologies with hugs and kisses.

7. Feeling miserable for days, weeks, months so I have the capacity to deal with the greater pain that will come to finally end the pain and recieve the joy of a new baby.

8. Losing sleep to take care of said infant's every waking need while juggling the other children who want their time too.

9. Getting up before I really want to - to make sure my daughter gets dressed, eats, brushes her hair and teeth, has her homework ready to go, is wearing appropriate footwear for PE if it's that day, make a lunch that she will eat, grab the other kid and drag everyone to the car to get her to school on time while avoiding the cops who will pull me over for no good reason at all and make it home before they catch me.

10. Taking the cat to the vet in my car even though I just vaccumed it twice to get the shedding fur off of my seats.

11. Doing dishes, sweeping for the third time in a day, vacuuming again, cleaning the bathrooms again, and taking out the garbage - need I say more?

12. Watching shows like Dora, the Explorer instead of CSI or Grey's Anatomy.

13. Making sure my children are dressed and clean although I get yelled at, slapped, and/or kicked in the process.

14. Making sure my children have healthy food to eat at least three times a day even though I throw half of it away or get a tantrum over not being "hungry" for "that" while begging for a cookie or popsicle instead to which I say no, of course.

15. Dealing with stares from people as my children cry in a grocery cart because I wouldn't let them have a treat from the candy isle or told them to sit down and not climb all over my not yet purchased food and supplies.

16. Being mistaken for a mean and hateful mom instead of a concerned one for the safety and welfare of my children who don't really understand how their actions can hurt them.

Lessons learned from my sacrifices:

1. Realizing that Heavenly Father probably feels the same way (#16) about me sometimes and this is why he lets us have children. So we can learn what it's like to be a parent.

2. To understand what it means to care for someone more than yourself involuntarily.

3. To know how hard it must have been to give up his only begotten son for me and watch him suffer.

4. To try and comprehend a Parent's love and pain.

5. To know I'd do it all again because in my heart I have no other choice.

6. To know that no matter how much I give Thanks, it will never make up for how I am Blessed in ways I don't even realize.

Blessings that Motherhood has brought me:

1. Unconditional Love

2. More patience

3. The ability to forgive more quickly

4. Wisdom

5. Maturity

6. Tolerance

7. Creative problem solving skills

8. Capacity to do more than I thought possible

9. Joy at simple things

10. Gratitude

11. Understanding

12. Compassion

13. Insight

14. Organizational skills unatural to me.

15. Decision making skills

16. Confidence

17. An authoritative look and tone of voice coupled with love that only a mother knows.

18. Ability to do things I hate to do and not complain

My lists could go on and on. . . Feel free to add to it.