Jess is a little farsighted. The eye doctor determined that she needs to wear glasses. At first it was thrilling and she couldn't wait to get them. She came home after excitedly wanting to sport them at school and then cried that she looked like Ugly Betty. (A show we watched BRIEFLY before I realized it really was not worthy of our patronage.) I assured her she did NOT. She is getting used to them, but she isn't wearing them 24/7. The novelty has already worn off for sure. First graders can be brutal. If only their opinion wasn't so vitally important.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Glasses and Grade schoolers
Jess is a little farsighted. The eye doctor determined that she needs to wear glasses. At first it was thrilling and she couldn't wait to get them. She came home after excitedly wanting to sport them at school and then cried that she looked like Ugly Betty. (A show we watched BRIEFLY before I realized it really was not worthy of our patronage.) I assured her she did NOT. She is getting used to them, but she isn't wearing them 24/7. The novelty has already worn off for sure. First graders can be brutal. If only their opinion wasn't so vitally important.
Completeness
I just got back from an incredible Stake women's conference. The theme was "Be still and know that I am God." So many of the workshops and presentations were geared towards this theme of dealing with trials in our lives- something I've had my fair share of this past month 1/2. What I heard were confirmations of lessons the Lord has been teaching me personally through experience.
But one idea that resonated with me was this idea . . . completeness. Let me explain. We are commanded to be perfect even as our Heavenly Father is perfect. Later after his ascension into Heaven the Savior commands us to be perfect even as He and His father are perfect. Something he didn't claim he had obtained until his own resurrection. So the sister proposing this idea explained that perfection is another way of saying Complete or whole. In order to be whole or complete we need trials or opposition to teach us and to mold us. Only after our tests or trials may we be made perfect or complete. So our trials truly are our blessings.
If this is the case than the Lord is really working on me this year. I must have some sharp edges that need filing because phew! he's pouring out his "blessings" upon us. All kidding aside, I have felt His peace through it all and I have felt and witnessed his tender mercies in our lives.
I like this idea of completeness. Only through the atonement of Jesus Christ may we be made perfect or whole and complete. How grateful I am that the Blessings of the atonement, repentence, faith, baptism, priesthood blessings, temple ordinances, and eternal life are equally available barring no disparity to all of God's children according to our desire and agency.
Another grain of wisdom came from the presentation about hope and joy found in the Book of Revelations. The sister who taught this was wise beyond her years and incredibly insightful on the scriptures. As she explained the "code" of the Book of Revelations, she made the message given therein applicable to our day and translation was similar to something we might hear from our prophets today. The one point that stuck out to me was when she explained how the frame around the terrible events of destruction were under the control of the Lamb. He is the only one with the power to open the seal. He is the one who commanded the four horseman to "come" and strike the world with destruction. It took a second to sink in. She had to say it a few times before I could understand that this was a blessing.
But then I got it. Even in these scary times, the Lord is in control of it all. And the thought came - if He is in charge and in control than can he not bless us even when it looks impossible? Can he not make a job happen for Jhonny even in a crashing economy where more are losing their jobs than finding one? He knows where Jhonny would best be served. He CAN find a job for him and he CAN make it happen because HE is in control.
I don't think I've ever had to rely more strongly on my faith and less on what I can see. Hopefully after all is said and done my family and I will be a little more complete.
But one idea that resonated with me was this idea . . . completeness. Let me explain. We are commanded to be perfect even as our Heavenly Father is perfect. Later after his ascension into Heaven the Savior commands us to be perfect even as He and His father are perfect. Something he didn't claim he had obtained until his own resurrection. So the sister proposing this idea explained that perfection is another way of saying Complete or whole. In order to be whole or complete we need trials or opposition to teach us and to mold us. Only after our tests or trials may we be made perfect or complete. So our trials truly are our blessings.
If this is the case than the Lord is really working on me this year. I must have some sharp edges that need filing because phew! he's pouring out his "blessings" upon us. All kidding aside, I have felt His peace through it all and I have felt and witnessed his tender mercies in our lives.
I like this idea of completeness. Only through the atonement of Jesus Christ may we be made perfect or whole and complete. How grateful I am that the Blessings of the atonement, repentence, faith, baptism, priesthood blessings, temple ordinances, and eternal life are equally available barring no disparity to all of God's children according to our desire and agency.
Another grain of wisdom came from the presentation about hope and joy found in the Book of Revelations. The sister who taught this was wise beyond her years and incredibly insightful on the scriptures. As she explained the "code" of the Book of Revelations, she made the message given therein applicable to our day and translation was similar to something we might hear from our prophets today. The one point that stuck out to me was when she explained how the frame around the terrible events of destruction were under the control of the Lamb. He is the only one with the power to open the seal. He is the one who commanded the four horseman to "come" and strike the world with destruction. It took a second to sink in. She had to say it a few times before I could understand that this was a blessing.
But then I got it. Even in these scary times, the Lord is in control of it all. And the thought came - if He is in charge and in control than can he not bless us even when it looks impossible? Can he not make a job happen for Jhonny even in a crashing economy where more are losing their jobs than finding one? He knows where Jhonny would best be served. He CAN find a job for him and he CAN make it happen because HE is in control.
I don't think I've ever had to rely more strongly on my faith and less on what I can see. Hopefully after all is said and done my family and I will be a little more complete.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Blast from the Past - only better
Yesterday for Valentine's day, I started off without my sweetheart who was out with the boy scouts camping in the cold. I took my kids and went visiting teaching. It was a nice visit and I wondered what to do with the rest of my day. There was a stake dance for adults last night, but I wasn't sure if I was up to dancing or not and I had been wanting to take a trip to Bryan to see my friend in the hospital with her new baby.
Jhonny finally came home and we decided to try and go to the dance. After all we enjoy dancing and it included dinner on the stake - hmm - free date! No brainer. So we dressed up, got a babysitter and headed to Austin - fashionably late because Jhonny had to finish cleaning our house for the babysitter. (Priorities!?!)
When we walked in, we were lucky to find seats at a table because it was packed. We were also last in line for food, but not to worry - there was plenty. Loaves and fishes in the form of Chicken Fajitas, Rice and Boracho Beans (minus real beer). The cultural hall was dressed in red helium heart balloons, valentine decor and more than one baby carseat with infants in tow. It was all reminiscent of by gone days back when I was single (minus babyseats/infants that were a stark contrast) and wondering if there would be any special attention at this single awareness holiday party that I pretty much dreaded year after year. Only somehow this was better.
Better perhaps because I already had my sweetheart at my side. I was already guaranteed a dance partner for every song I wanted to dance to and special attention at my beck and call. How nice to know I didn't have to make the rounds and wonder which available guy would ask me to dance. Ugh! No - these were the days I dreamed of back then. So how nice to be in a place at last where all the dreams can come true. Ahh, it made all the superficial stuff just a bit more romantic. . . and so much less annoying. I could get used to this holiday in my later years.
There was a floor show from former BYU backup ballroom dance team members that was humorous and entertaining. Then an hour of dancing to our favorite requests from decades past. Of course they had to include the macarena, electric slide and cottoneyed joe - former youth dance numbers guaranteed to get everyone on the dance floor not because they are especially fun as much as they took the pressure off of trying to find someone to dance with so you didn't look soo desperate.
From the looks of it, there were more than one former BYU backup dance team members in attendance. Of course our favorite numbers came on with the merenge and salsa numbers requested just so Jhonny could show off his expertise in his specialties.
We had vowed to leave sooner, but we were having too much fun so we ended up staying til the bitter end and helped clean up afterwards. It was during this cleanup effort that I saw a familiar face. She came to me and asked if I had taken a modern dance class at BYU - of course! Then I realized it was my partner from our dance performance for our teacher's graduate dance showcase. We reminisced about our experience back then and tried to remember some of the dance that had us staring at each other's faces and mirroring each other's moves to improvisational music on a dulcimer characteristic of a culture from India.
She informed me that she had just returned from India 6 months ago. Wow! What are the coincidences that we should run into each other 12 years later and here we are serving in callings for "seasoned" sisters in the Relief Society. Fortunately she is the one I've been needing to talk to about some things. Ha! Nice and feeling old. Where did the time go?
I tried to think about perpectives and realizing that my friends from decades past probably don't look so much like they used to back when we were in our prime. What a blow to realize I'm getting older. We're getting older, more wrinkly, more gray, and hopefully more wise.
But then - this is definitely better. So even though the youth have all the rights to goofy dance or date invitations and are excused for being less than dignified in getting down to the latest top 40 hit or line dance, I wouldn't trade my years of wisdom to go back to that. Oh NO! Happy am I to have found my mate already even if that means we only get to go to a dance once a decade instead of bi-monthly.
Jhonny finally came home and we decided to try and go to the dance. After all we enjoy dancing and it included dinner on the stake - hmm - free date! No brainer. So we dressed up, got a babysitter and headed to Austin - fashionably late because Jhonny had to finish cleaning our house for the babysitter. (Priorities!?!)
When we walked in, we were lucky to find seats at a table because it was packed. We were also last in line for food, but not to worry - there was plenty. Loaves and fishes in the form of Chicken Fajitas, Rice and Boracho Beans (minus real beer). The cultural hall was dressed in red helium heart balloons, valentine decor and more than one baby carseat with infants in tow. It was all reminiscent of by gone days back when I was single (minus babyseats/infants that were a stark contrast) and wondering if there would be any special attention at this single awareness holiday party that I pretty much dreaded year after year. Only somehow this was better.
Better perhaps because I already had my sweetheart at my side. I was already guaranteed a dance partner for every song I wanted to dance to and special attention at my beck and call. How nice to know I didn't have to make the rounds and wonder which available guy would ask me to dance. Ugh! No - these were the days I dreamed of back then. So how nice to be in a place at last where all the dreams can come true. Ahh, it made all the superficial stuff just a bit more romantic. . . and so much less annoying. I could get used to this holiday in my later years.
There was a floor show from former BYU backup ballroom dance team members that was humorous and entertaining. Then an hour of dancing to our favorite requests from decades past. Of course they had to include the macarena, electric slide and cottoneyed joe - former youth dance numbers guaranteed to get everyone on the dance floor not because they are especially fun as much as they took the pressure off of trying to find someone to dance with so you didn't look soo desperate.
From the looks of it, there were more than one former BYU backup dance team members in attendance. Of course our favorite numbers came on with the merenge and salsa numbers requested just so Jhonny could show off his expertise in his specialties.
We had vowed to leave sooner, but we were having too much fun so we ended up staying til the bitter end and helped clean up afterwards. It was during this cleanup effort that I saw a familiar face. She came to me and asked if I had taken a modern dance class at BYU - of course! Then I realized it was my partner from our dance performance for our teacher's graduate dance showcase. We reminisced about our experience back then and tried to remember some of the dance that had us staring at each other's faces and mirroring each other's moves to improvisational music on a dulcimer characteristic of a culture from India.
She informed me that she had just returned from India 6 months ago. Wow! What are the coincidences that we should run into each other 12 years later and here we are serving in callings for "seasoned" sisters in the Relief Society. Fortunately she is the one I've been needing to talk to about some things. Ha! Nice and feeling old. Where did the time go?
I tried to think about perpectives and realizing that my friends from decades past probably don't look so much like they used to back when we were in our prime. What a blow to realize I'm getting older. We're getting older, more wrinkly, more gray, and hopefully more wise.
But then - this is definitely better. So even though the youth have all the rights to goofy dance or date invitations and are excused for being less than dignified in getting down to the latest top 40 hit or line dance, I wouldn't trade my years of wisdom to go back to that. Oh NO! Happy am I to have found my mate already even if that means we only get to go to a dance once a decade instead of bi-monthly.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Doubt not, Fear not
Every fact about our current situation screams to do just the opposite of this admonision. But ironically enough - my panic attacks haven't lasted very long. I haven't felt the desire to sink into a depression or go insane with worry as I might be tempted to do.
I can only give credit to the Lord who is providing me with a great sense of peace. I have too much to focus on to have a melt down. Every time I try to focus on my problems or situation, another's situation is brought to mind and I find myself too busy trying to work out a solution to worry about my own.
Being in this calling at this time right now may be a challenge, but it's been a huge blessing. I love being in a position where I'm so busy serving that I don't have time to worry about my own needs. Things just seem to work out just when I don't think they will.
Jhonny is still searching, applying. . . no news yet - but like He says - doubt not, fear not. . .
I can only give credit to the Lord who is providing me with a great sense of peace. I have too much to focus on to have a melt down. Every time I try to focus on my problems or situation, another's situation is brought to mind and I find myself too busy trying to work out a solution to worry about my own.
Being in this calling at this time right now may be a challenge, but it's been a huge blessing. I love being in a position where I'm so busy serving that I don't have time to worry about my own needs. Things just seem to work out just when I don't think they will.
Jhonny is still searching, applying. . . no news yet - but like He says - doubt not, fear not. . .
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Lily wants her candy
At the bank the other day, Lily sat politely eating her complementary sucker. When it was gone, she came begging for a second. After several attempts to get her to accept that kids get one and she had eaten hers already she retorted, "But MOM! I didn't TASTE it!"
Blessing or Curse
We've got too much money in the bank. So our kids don't qualify for health insurance.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Experience the hard times
Saturday morning I left the house early to get to Austin's stake center for a Regional Welfare meeting with Gavin in tow. I wasn't sure how long I'd be gone from the house when I waved my dear husband and girls goodbye.
The training was a wealth of information and though it was difficult lugging around my baby in his carseat (since I left the stroller at home on accident) along with my bag and his diaperbag, I managed to enjoy the workshops and speakers. Perhaps because they were speaking to my problems and not just problems of my stewardship, I paid a little closer attention.
Afterwards as I tried to find my way around Austin, looking for a bank to deposit our LAST paycheck, I saw some vagrant looking men standing outside of the hole in the wall bank that I needed. Finding nowhere to park and thinking of my baby - I passed my destination and continued to look for another branch elsewhere - juggling my cell phone and GPS while driving - I know not a good idea.
I finally gave up and determined to just go home and perhaps stop at the one I was more familiar with North of town even though it meant a detour from my original route home. I finally found one and deposited the money and left thinking about how long this check will last and debating which bills to pay to sustain us as long as possible.
That's when I pulled up to a light and noticed a homeless lady standing on the street corner. She held a sign that said: "Even 50 cents helps." Now normally I would think about how sad this situation was and vow to pay extra on my fast offerings, but as I looked at this woman, compassion came over me and I realized that I had a dollar in my purse. It's not much, but as she said - even 50 cents helps.
I rolled down my window as her gaze at the cars seemed hopeless. I finally caught her eye after what seemed like several minutes and she looked unbelievingly as she pointed to herself and asked, "Me?" I nodded and waved her to me.
She hurried over and with frostbitten hands and blackened fingernails in cutoff gloves, she reached out for my dollar and thanked me profoundly. She told me to keep smiling and "god blessed" me just as the light turned green and I had to move with the traffic.
As I pondered her words and drove onto the ramp of the coming freeway, I couldn't stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks.
I pondered the experience of the moment and felt gratitude. Sometimes we have to experience the hard times. . .
The training was a wealth of information and though it was difficult lugging around my baby in his carseat (since I left the stroller at home on accident) along with my bag and his diaperbag, I managed to enjoy the workshops and speakers. Perhaps because they were speaking to my problems and not just problems of my stewardship, I paid a little closer attention.
Afterwards as I tried to find my way around Austin, looking for a bank to deposit our LAST paycheck, I saw some vagrant looking men standing outside of the hole in the wall bank that I needed. Finding nowhere to park and thinking of my baby - I passed my destination and continued to look for another branch elsewhere - juggling my cell phone and GPS while driving - I know not a good idea.
I finally gave up and determined to just go home and perhaps stop at the one I was more familiar with North of town even though it meant a detour from my original route home. I finally found one and deposited the money and left thinking about how long this check will last and debating which bills to pay to sustain us as long as possible.
That's when I pulled up to a light and noticed a homeless lady standing on the street corner. She held a sign that said: "Even 50 cents helps." Now normally I would think about how sad this situation was and vow to pay extra on my fast offerings, but as I looked at this woman, compassion came over me and I realized that I had a dollar in my purse. It's not much, but as she said - even 50 cents helps.
I rolled down my window as her gaze at the cars seemed hopeless. I finally caught her eye after what seemed like several minutes and she looked unbelievingly as she pointed to herself and asked, "Me?" I nodded and waved her to me.
She hurried over and with frostbitten hands and blackened fingernails in cutoff gloves, she reached out for my dollar and thanked me profoundly. She told me to keep smiling and "god blessed" me just as the light turned green and I had to move with the traffic.
As I pondered her words and drove onto the ramp of the coming freeway, I couldn't stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks.
I pondered the experience of the moment and felt gratitude. Sometimes we have to experience the hard times. . .
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