Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Ammon has arrived. . .
Wow. That’s a word that is highly understated to describe the incredible pain I just endured. NOT prepared for that at all. But there wasn’t really time to think about it. Suffice it to say, Ammon Merthan Marcano is here at long last. In a way it was the longest labor of my life and also the shortest.
At 4:00 this morning I woke with some pretty intense labor pains, but as usual, they grew further apart and after an hour, I forced myself to sleep. I’ve been feeling pains all day, but refused to believe they were doing anything since I’ve been frustrated for a month and decided to turn my attention to the C-section on Thursday.
Just before they started, Jessica said she hoped Ammon would come earlier. I told her not to count on it as I asked her if she cared if Grandma were at her talent show or not. She said she didn’t mind if Grandma went to the hospital instead because she didn’t really want to miss any of it herself. I decided to call Mom to let her know the plan.
No sooner did Mom pick up and Jess went to bed that I had the first REAL contraction. That was at 9:07ish according to my phone. I didn’t take it seriously as I discussed the plan for Thursday. Five minutes later another one came on. It was also kind of intense. Mom said, “Whoa that had to be five minutes.” I guessed but wasn’t keeping track. She stayed on the phone with me for about 45 minutes keeping track as they got stronger and more intense. Finally at 5 til 10:00, I got off the phone and told Jhonny he needed to call someone NOW.
Sister Swafford was there in no time. I barely had time to explain the routine for morning and get into the car as another intense pain came. We hit EVERY RED light to the hospital. Of all the times to drive down that road. UGH! We made it to the hospital by 10:31. I had the foresight to call the after-hours line and let the doctor know to meet us at the hospital. Or rather Jhonny did for me as I was trying hard to not scream.
The poor guy in the ER didn’t quite know what to do. I told him to take me directly to labor and delivery NOW while my husband parked the car. I was crying in pain as we rolled in and they took me to the Labor and Delivery room. They checked me between screams and I was an 8. They also couldn’t get an IV in me. I knew it was going to be natural and accepted it pretty quickly although there wasn’t much time for anything else. What I didn’t expect was exactly HOW painful it was going to be.
The doctor showed up about fifteen minutes after we did. He checked me and I was a 9.5. He broke my water and I could feel it gushing out. I wanted to push before they had me in stirrups and it hurt worse to not be up a little. I could most definitely feel the burning as he tore me and I tried to slow down, but it hurt to just stop. I screamed bloody murder and Jhonny kept trying to shush me. I didn’t care. I decided if I needed to scream, I would. I wanted to bite down on something hard and grabbed Jhonny’s neck and wanted to bite his cheek. I refrained. Then I heard, “he’s coming.”
I finally pushed him out and felt instant relief. Although still very shaky, I was so glad to have that over. I asked instantly as I panted for breath, “Did he tear me?” Yup, up above and a little below. I knew it. I never did get an IV. The nurse tried for the full thirty minutes and never could get it in me. I’m kind of glad for that. I always hated those things tied up to me while I’m trying to recover. I had to have a shot of something to numb me while he sewed me up a little. Then the placenta came out and I felt another bout of relief.
I couldn’t believe how fast it all happened. I also couldn’t believe how PAINFUL that was. At one point I told Jhonny. “I can’t do this!!” I heard voices of encouragement telling me I was doing great. Yeah, right. I was a wimp!! I would never wish that on my worst enemy. That was HORRIBLE. I’m so glad it’s over. No more for me.
Now since I didn’t get the IV and no Pitocin to help with afterbirth, I have to watch my bleeding to make sure it’s not excessive. This is a little different for me. Hope all goes well. They gave me a shot of something to help with it, but apparently it’s not as good as the Pitocin stuff. Oh well.
And then I looked at my little boy. He didn’t cry much. He seemed quite peaceful actually. I fed him for a while and held him after everyone left me alone. He’s in the nursery now. He definitely has a lot of hair. He reminds me of Lily in the face kind of. He’s the first that doesn’t have Jhonny’s long dark lashes. But maybe that will come later. He has blonde eye brows. I think his hair will lighten up like Gavin’s. It was hard to tell with it all matted to his head.
I felt so relieved to have him here at last. I think I will need the time to bond with him. I’ve been in so much pain for so long, that I need to see the good side to all of this and dwell on the blessing that he is for us. I want to get to know this little man. He’s still a little surreal for me. I can’t believe I have a baby. I’m just so happy not to be feeling all that pain right now. I can’t even tell you what a relief that is.
I also seem to be quite skinny. My stomach has gone down much faster than any of the other babies. He was 8 lbs 4 oz. 20.5 in and born at 10:59pm on May 21st. Thank goodness Ammon Merthan Marcano is here with us now. It truly felt like he would NEVER come.
At 4:00 this morning I woke with some pretty intense labor pains, but as usual, they grew further apart and after an hour, I forced myself to sleep. I’ve been feeling pains all day, but refused to believe they were doing anything since I’ve been frustrated for a month and decided to turn my attention to the C-section on Thursday.
Just before they started, Jessica said she hoped Ammon would come earlier. I told her not to count on it as I asked her if she cared if Grandma were at her talent show or not. She said she didn’t mind if Grandma went to the hospital instead because she didn’t really want to miss any of it herself. I decided to call Mom to let her know the plan.
No sooner did Mom pick up and Jess went to bed that I had the first REAL contraction. That was at 9:07ish according to my phone. I didn’t take it seriously as I discussed the plan for Thursday. Five minutes later another one came on. It was also kind of intense. Mom said, “Whoa that had to be five minutes.” I guessed but wasn’t keeping track. She stayed on the phone with me for about 45 minutes keeping track as they got stronger and more intense. Finally at 5 til 10:00, I got off the phone and told Jhonny he needed to call someone NOW.
Sister Swafford was there in no time. I barely had time to explain the routine for morning and get into the car as another intense pain came. We hit EVERY RED light to the hospital. Of all the times to drive down that road. UGH! We made it to the hospital by 10:31. I had the foresight to call the after-hours line and let the doctor know to meet us at the hospital. Or rather Jhonny did for me as I was trying hard to not scream.
The poor guy in the ER didn’t quite know what to do. I told him to take me directly to labor and delivery NOW while my husband parked the car. I was crying in pain as we rolled in and they took me to the Labor and Delivery room. They checked me between screams and I was an 8. They also couldn’t get an IV in me. I knew it was going to be natural and accepted it pretty quickly although there wasn’t much time for anything else. What I didn’t expect was exactly HOW painful it was going to be.
The doctor showed up about fifteen minutes after we did. He checked me and I was a 9.5. He broke my water and I could feel it gushing out. I wanted to push before they had me in stirrups and it hurt worse to not be up a little. I could most definitely feel the burning as he tore me and I tried to slow down, but it hurt to just stop. I screamed bloody murder and Jhonny kept trying to shush me. I didn’t care. I decided if I needed to scream, I would. I wanted to bite down on something hard and grabbed Jhonny’s neck and wanted to bite his cheek. I refrained. Then I heard, “he’s coming.”
I finally pushed him out and felt instant relief. Although still very shaky, I was so glad to have that over. I asked instantly as I panted for breath, “Did he tear me?” Yup, up above and a little below. I knew it. I never did get an IV. The nurse tried for the full thirty minutes and never could get it in me. I’m kind of glad for that. I always hated those things tied up to me while I’m trying to recover. I had to have a shot of something to numb me while he sewed me up a little. Then the placenta came out and I felt another bout of relief.
I couldn’t believe how fast it all happened. I also couldn’t believe how PAINFUL that was. At one point I told Jhonny. “I can’t do this!!” I heard voices of encouragement telling me I was doing great. Yeah, right. I was a wimp!! I would never wish that on my worst enemy. That was HORRIBLE. I’m so glad it’s over. No more for me.
Now since I didn’t get the IV and no Pitocin to help with afterbirth, I have to watch my bleeding to make sure it’s not excessive. This is a little different for me. Hope all goes well. They gave me a shot of something to help with it, but apparently it’s not as good as the Pitocin stuff. Oh well.
And then I looked at my little boy. He didn’t cry much. He seemed quite peaceful actually. I fed him for a while and held him after everyone left me alone. He’s in the nursery now. He definitely has a lot of hair. He reminds me of Lily in the face kind of. He’s the first that doesn’t have Jhonny’s long dark lashes. But maybe that will come later. He has blonde eye brows. I think his hair will lighten up like Gavin’s. It was hard to tell with it all matted to his head.
I felt so relieved to have him here at last. I think I will need the time to bond with him. I’ve been in so much pain for so long, that I need to see the good side to all of this and dwell on the blessing that he is for us. I want to get to know this little man. He’s still a little surreal for me. I can’t believe I have a baby. I’m just so happy not to be feeling all that pain right now. I can’t even tell you what a relief that is.
I also seem to be quite skinny. My stomach has gone down much faster than any of the other babies. He was 8 lbs 4 oz. 20.5 in and born at 10:59pm on May 21st. Thank goodness Ammon Merthan Marcano is here with us now. It truly felt like he would NEVER come.
Monday, May 21, 2012
My little fisherman
Lily's Kinder music program
My Aunt Came Back
Three more days. . .
3 more days. That is what I can know for sure. I won't be pregnant for longer than that. I'm getting used to the idea of a double birthday. Friends and family are stepping up to help out in what I originally considered a less than ideal situation.
I have at least three people willing to videotape the talent show that Jessica will be singing at while I'm undergoing the c-section.
If Ammon waits til then, my mom can go to work this week and get some other errands taken care of. She just called to let me know she'll take the kids home for the weekend while I'm in the hospital. She has some things to attend to at home so it will be easier for her to just do that.
Jhonny's lesson plans are done and ready to go for the week after I sat down and worked through them with him last night, so he should be okay. I'll probably send him back to work on Friday since I'll just be trying to get up and walk that day anyway.
I'm hoping to get a cookie cake baked today for a birthday party at the hospital for Jhonny and Ammon. Best part is that I'll actually get to partake!! Maybe this won't be so bad after all.
I realized that Gavin can stay in day care next week and I'll bet Ms. V won't mind him extending for one more week until I'm a little more on my feet. The girls I'm sure won't be much of a problem once I'm home from the hospital. Bored maybe, but they'll be okay. And Jhonny WILL be home for the vast majority of the first week home from the hospital with only needing to work on Tuesday. Hopefully it won't be a FULL tuesday since it is the last staff day of work which is usually a breakfast and turn in your keys kind of day.
Yes, things will work out. They always do even if not exactly the way I plan it in my head at first.
I have at least three people willing to videotape the talent show that Jessica will be singing at while I'm undergoing the c-section.
If Ammon waits til then, my mom can go to work this week and get some other errands taken care of. She just called to let me know she'll take the kids home for the weekend while I'm in the hospital. She has some things to attend to at home so it will be easier for her to just do that.
Jhonny's lesson plans are done and ready to go for the week after I sat down and worked through them with him last night, so he should be okay. I'll probably send him back to work on Friday since I'll just be trying to get up and walk that day anyway.
I'm hoping to get a cookie cake baked today for a birthday party at the hospital for Jhonny and Ammon. Best part is that I'll actually get to partake!! Maybe this won't be so bad after all.
I realized that Gavin can stay in day care next week and I'll bet Ms. V won't mind him extending for one more week until I'm a little more on my feet. The girls I'm sure won't be much of a problem once I'm home from the hospital. Bored maybe, but they'll be okay. And Jhonny WILL be home for the vast majority of the first week home from the hospital with only needing to work on Tuesday. Hopefully it won't be a FULL tuesday since it is the last staff day of work which is usually a breakfast and turn in your keys kind of day.
Yes, things will work out. They always do even if not exactly the way I plan it in my head at first.
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Father and Sons Campout 2012
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Still Waiting
Happy Mother's Day. When I woke up this morning it was not with joy or excitement. What was most on my mind was that I'm still waiting. I had really hoped that today would be the day. But nothing has happened of great significance. That means no chocolate or cookies or icecream or anything else lovely to consume.
When Jhonny asked what I wanted for breakfast I gave him a hard cold stare. What I want and what I can eat are NOT the same thing. When I came downstairs, my eager young children had helped themselves to cereal. When Jhonny asked where the breakfast in bed was, Jessica replied. "Mom said she didn't want to celebrate until after the baby comes." That's true. I don't. I'm tired of missing out on the best that these holidays have to offer.
Later Jessica and Lily asked if they could at least give me the "paper" gifts they had made for me. I said okay. They were sweet. They have tried so hard to let me know how much they love me. Gavin too. And they sang so well in church today. All three. But. . .
Yesterday, I noticed some watery discharge. I figure that my amniotic sac must have torn. But no gush, so it's not really doing anything for me. In fact according to the articles online, it could heal itself and regenerate more fluid. So there went that hope that something could be getting started.
On Thursday I was dilated to a 2. Gee at this rate, I'll deliver in June! JK. I have a scheduled C-section on the 24th of May. Which is not a great day for several reasons including the fact that it's Jhonny's birthday, Jessica has a talent show she is singing in 45 minutes after I go under the knife and we only have one good camera. Oh and it's the day before school is out which means I come home to recover with 4 kids to take care of. Yippee!
I read the lesson for RS which was on prayer. Feeling a little more than depressed, I felt perhaps it would do me some good to read it. What I got out of it is that I need to be a little more humble and trusting that the Lord is in charge and this baby will come when it's best for him to come. Doesn't make me feel much better, but I know that's true. It also occured to me that I need to start emotionally preparing for this C-section. Perhaps it's the best way for him to get here. The sooner I can accept that fact the less disappointed I can feel each day he doesn't come.
So after trying all day to come to terms with these circumstances without much luck, I asked Jhonny to give me a blessing. Not a blessing to make this happen, but one to help me accept what will happen. Whatever that is. I don't want to be angry and sad. I'm feeling impatient. Perhaps it's the painful contractions every ten minutes that make me want to faint. Or not being able to walk without feeling pain. It's hard to put one foot in front of the other. And more frustrating is that walking doesn't seem to make contractions any stronger or closer together. At least not for very long. I don't dare drive because I feel like fainting every time I'm in the car. So I'm literally a prisoner in my home right now. Ahhh! Just want it to be over.
So Jhonny gave me a blessing. I'm still not jumping up and down for joy, but at least I'm feeling a little more calm. I'll get through this. And he promised me that I would have time to bond with this baby and the help I need while I'm recovering. That's probably what I need to hear the most.
So I must apologize for all the whining. I hate to put it out there like that, but life is not always roses. Sometimes the best lessons in life are getting through the reality of what isn't all pretty. Perhaps some of this depression comes from the fact that I know each day that passes is one less day I get to spend with my last baby. This is the first time I will have to return to work when my baby is so young. At best he will pass the two month mark. That is too young for me.
The good news is that I got a transfer to a High School closer to my house. I'm hoping this will allow me some time to go see him during lunch. But who knows. My job is SO time demanding. There have been days I don't get lunch. We shall see. Again, I just need an extra helping of faith to get through what I consider less than ideal.
When Jhonny asked what I wanted for breakfast I gave him a hard cold stare. What I want and what I can eat are NOT the same thing. When I came downstairs, my eager young children had helped themselves to cereal. When Jhonny asked where the breakfast in bed was, Jessica replied. "Mom said she didn't want to celebrate until after the baby comes." That's true. I don't. I'm tired of missing out on the best that these holidays have to offer.
Later Jessica and Lily asked if they could at least give me the "paper" gifts they had made for me. I said okay. They were sweet. They have tried so hard to let me know how much they love me. Gavin too. And they sang so well in church today. All three. But. . .
Yesterday, I noticed some watery discharge. I figure that my amniotic sac must have torn. But no gush, so it's not really doing anything for me. In fact according to the articles online, it could heal itself and regenerate more fluid. So there went that hope that something could be getting started.
On Thursday I was dilated to a 2. Gee at this rate, I'll deliver in June! JK. I have a scheduled C-section on the 24th of May. Which is not a great day for several reasons including the fact that it's Jhonny's birthday, Jessica has a talent show she is singing in 45 minutes after I go under the knife and we only have one good camera. Oh and it's the day before school is out which means I come home to recover with 4 kids to take care of. Yippee!
I read the lesson for RS which was on prayer. Feeling a little more than depressed, I felt perhaps it would do me some good to read it. What I got out of it is that I need to be a little more humble and trusting that the Lord is in charge and this baby will come when it's best for him to come. Doesn't make me feel much better, but I know that's true. It also occured to me that I need to start emotionally preparing for this C-section. Perhaps it's the best way for him to get here. The sooner I can accept that fact the less disappointed I can feel each day he doesn't come.
So after trying all day to come to terms with these circumstances without much luck, I asked Jhonny to give me a blessing. Not a blessing to make this happen, but one to help me accept what will happen. Whatever that is. I don't want to be angry and sad. I'm feeling impatient. Perhaps it's the painful contractions every ten minutes that make me want to faint. Or not being able to walk without feeling pain. It's hard to put one foot in front of the other. And more frustrating is that walking doesn't seem to make contractions any stronger or closer together. At least not for very long. I don't dare drive because I feel like fainting every time I'm in the car. So I'm literally a prisoner in my home right now. Ahhh! Just want it to be over.
So Jhonny gave me a blessing. I'm still not jumping up and down for joy, but at least I'm feeling a little more calm. I'll get through this. And he promised me that I would have time to bond with this baby and the help I need while I'm recovering. That's probably what I need to hear the most.
So I must apologize for all the whining. I hate to put it out there like that, but life is not always roses. Sometimes the best lessons in life are getting through the reality of what isn't all pretty. Perhaps some of this depression comes from the fact that I know each day that passes is one less day I get to spend with my last baby. This is the first time I will have to return to work when my baby is so young. At best he will pass the two month mark. That is too young for me.
The good news is that I got a transfer to a High School closer to my house. I'm hoping this will allow me some time to go see him during lunch. But who knows. My job is SO time demanding. There have been days I don't get lunch. We shall see. Again, I just need an extra helping of faith to get through what I consider less than ideal.
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