History Repeats Itself

1976

2010

Playing Catch Up i.e. Christmas and 2010

So much has happened in so little time. Here are some precious moments with my little ones.
Grandma bought the girls new Christmas dresses. They looked fabulous. Jessica sang "Would I Know My Savior" by Sally Deford with her dad and I in the Christmas program. She had a solo part and did an exceptional job! I was so proud.

The kids watch Brianne open her gift before she left for Washington with her family for the Holiday break.

Santa didn't disappoint on Christmas morning. Lily is all ready to put on her new clothes for school. Jessica was happy to get the Secret Garden on CD and Gavin was just happy about all the new boy toys.

Jessica is gaining a testimony and preparing for baptism this year. We finished the Book of Mormon just before we rang in the New Year! and she decided to follow Moroni's promise (on her own!). She was excited to tell me she got an answer. For Christmas, uncle Jake surprised Jess with a PS2 system. She was thoroughly surprised and has been enjoying her games ever since. She especially likes to play with a partner.

Lily got into Discovery Days in January. Here's a picture of her on her first day. She kept giving me a profile because she wanted me to get her pretending that she was talking to her teacher. I finally convinced her to face me! She's loving it by the way. Tomorrow is her PJ day. She's also looking forward to Pizza Hut field trip next week.

We loved watching Lily and Jessica during their parent visitation week at dance lessons. Lily is always the entertainer. She was very cute in her "I want a hippopotumus for Christmas" dance.

As Lily has been going through her terrible 3's stage, I've not been quite so humored with her Lilyisms, but I need to catch up with them a little. Just in case you don't get my Lily, you have to know she always needs someone in her corner. For a long time it has been "Grandma". Whenever she was in trouble or feeling less than loved, she insisted that she wanted to go to Grandma's house. She still loves Grandma and LOVES to visit her. But now that she is in Primary, she has learned that Heavenly Father is her daddy and he loves her even more than mommy. So now whenever she is upset with me she says, "I want to go back to Heavenly Father. He's my daddy!"

Yesterday, during a mild meltdown she added, "Don't you know I never wanted to leave him in the first place?" After trying not to read too much into her speech, I helped convince her that she could pray to Heavenly Father any time and he can hear her.

Lily: "How can he hear me? I can't even see him!"

After convincing her to just try it, she did. We let him know she was not having a good day and needed some help to get happy again. Later as we were getting shoes on for school, she said, "Thank you, Heavenly Father!" I asked what she was thanking him for and she said, "For making me happy again!" Gotta love that girl. For now, she's decided to stay with me for a while longer.

Gavin got a radio flyer for Christmas. How exciting!

I look at this little guy and my heart fills up with joy. I just love his sweet happy smile. His daddy wears a similarly charming one. I think it was the thing that started everything. . .

Today I took Gavin to Dell Children's Hospital to see a Hemoglobin specialist. I really have not been worried that anything is wrong - but wanted to solve the mystery about why he keeps showing up anemic on the blood tests when he's taking an iron supplement and when tested the iron levels were in a normal range. The tests today showed up fine, but they're running more just to be sure. We'll find out next week. My boy was so sweet. First he was hungry and went after the crackers in the diaper bag making a huge mess all over the floor because he only cared to eat the peanut butter off of the insides. Then after trying to change his diaper, he toddled off to the patient and family kitchen for some more snacks and was excited about the milk cartons there. I of course was quietly observing the other children in there either waiting for a chemo treatment, going through a treatment or finishing up one. I felt a little obtrusive being in that sanctuary considering the fact that I don't think he's got anything wrong with him, but feeling the weight of anxiety for parents in there who are watching their little ones go through chemo thinking what if it were us? Emotions from that were hard to explain.

After downing some milk it was time for his labwork to get started. He was a trooper and didn't flinch while they drew his blood from his tiny arm. I held him and thought I might faint, but he didn't cry or move at all. The nurses couldn't believe how good he was for them. I was especially impressed with how warm and inviting all the staff were there. Even though my child wasn't critical or anything, I could feel the love radiating from them and how genuine, accepting and accomodating they were. If only all doctors and nurses could make you feel like that. I was glad to know there is a place like that with people like that for those who are going through much more difficult times than we were today.

This week, I've been impressed with how grateful I am for my children and how much I love them. Each one is so unique and special. I love them for completely different reasons. Each one is so like me and yet each one is SOO different from each other. How ironic is that? I just hope they know that for different yet equal reasons, I am proud of each of them and love them so much.

New Year New Hope

The subject of my RS lesson today was Ether 12- Hope for a better world which comes from faith in God and is the motivation for abounding in Good works. I learned a lot from preparing this lesson. Especially about HOPE! I've often wondered what am I supposed to be hoping for. Duh. It was so obvious I'm surprised that I didn't see it before. Hope for a place in the mansions prepared for us on the right hand of God.
I learned that we can have hope and be partakers of the gifts that God has to offer us. I asked myself - what am I hoping for? Can this blessing be obtained? Is it a righteous desire? What is required of me to obtain this gift? Good works and FAITH. Only after the trial of our faith will we see the gift.
I know all this stuff, but it's nice to be reminded and have it sink deeper in it's meaning as we go through life and wonder again - now why was I doing all this for? Oh yeah - the hope for a better world!
My little boy is in nursery. My little girl is in Primary and my big girl is getting baptized this year. I'm looking forward to a New 2010 and a renewal of our Hope, Faith and Charity!

Display of Nativities

Rockdale Nativity Parade

Warning this is long, but I have a lot to catch up on. . .

The fact that it has been over a month since my last post illustrates just a fraction of the busy-ness of my life. It's kind of sad that when the most things are happening, I don't have time to write it all down somewhere. Someone is going to think my life is pretty boring some day.

This past month I have subbed in Rockdale and gotten to know the kids in town pretty well. I think they like me or so they've said. A few weeks ago, my name came up in conversation to fulfill a district need for a homebound teacher. I took on two girls who I will be serving for up until Thanksgiving. Then it's back to relying on Substitution as far as I know - until another teenage mother gives birth.

Last week, my husband found another posting for a counselor in Middle School - in Georgetown. As much as I would love to transfer my family to Georgetown some day - I don't think the timing is right and taking a job out there would mean that much more time away from home and family.

My kids miss me too much as it is. I can tell. When Lily wants to play games with me and I'm playing the "mom" and she's the "baby", that can only mean she's not getting enough mommy time. She is in transition. This is a tough year for her. She REALLY needs to be in school, but we can't afford it. She REALLY needs to have friends and something to constructively occupy her time that doesn't involve destroying my house. Her curiosity and imagination are out of control. Mostly I see a pretty uncontent girl who doesn't know what to do with all her thinking.

Gavin is right behind her. He's babbling - hasn't really said many words that are comprehensible, but acts like he's talking all the time. He finally mastered the art of walking, running, and climbing - not in that order. He is also throwing stuff pretty good. He still has a charming smile that melts any heart with those dimples. He is also extremely curious. He likes to get into stuff and fiddle with it until it does something. Mostly cell phones, computers, drawers, pens and pencils, TV's, remotes, etc. Toys? Not interested really - except maybe for a bag or something to carry around and push something - modeling after Lily I think. He still enjoys being thrown in the air. We're working on using utensils and not throwing plates on the floor. (Did it take this long for Lily and Jessica?)

Jessica is blossoming into a beautiful young lady. She is preparing herself for baptism next year. She enjoys playing computer games, watching Disney Chanel - especially Selena Gomez, and reading. She scored an 82 words per minute on her reading test. The teacher said the goal is 90 by the end of the year. She's zooming through chapter books that are 1 to 2 grade levels above hers. She has always loved books. I can't keep her in them long enough for her to AR test on anything. Jessica made some new friends at school. One girl rides the bus and gets off at the same stop as she does. Her friend has a sister Lily's age and the four of them love to get together for play dates.

For Halloween, we spent Friday night at the KC hall with the community for a carnival. The kids had a good time. The next night we joined the Ferguson's on their farm for the annual Halloween Party. When it was time to go, Lily still hadn't cleaned her playroom. So as hard as it was, she got left home with dad while the rest of us went to the party. I was glad that she finally got busy and finished cleaning so Jhonny and her could join us later. They made it just in time for trick or treating around the campfire. She chose to wear the monkey outfit that was identical to Gavin's. The night before she was Rapunzel. Jessica was a mermaid.

After eating all that candy, Gavin and Lily started getting congested. By Friday they passed it along to me and I woke up Saturday with a sore throat and congestion as well. I hope it wasn't the flu, but it sure hasn't been fun. We went to church today for Sacrament Meeting since it was the primary program and I didn't want to miss it. Right after, I took the two little ones home for a much needed nap and to stay away from others at church as much as possible. I probably didn't do a great job going in the first place. . .oh well.

Today was the primary program. They always do such a great job. I love the spirit that comes when the kids speak about the basic principals of the gospel. The theme was about eternal families and how they are a part of Heavenly Father's plan. I enjoyed the songs and talks. Jessica did a great job. I knew she could even though yesterday she refused to practice for me. I was told that she knew every word to the songs as well. I didn't see that part since I was too busy translating everything in ASL and their voices sounded all blended to me. The spirit was strong though and it was beautiful as usual.

This next month is a busy one as we get the Nativity under way, prepare for the holidays and plan for next year. It's been almost a year since I received this calling as a RS President. I'm not sure how well I'm doing, but I've been blessed in many ways as I've strived to listen to the Spirit and pray for the sisters in my branch. The challenges of living in a branch can be daunting as the few of us that are active strive to fellowship the many less active sisters and take care of the needs of those in our branch.

I am frequently reminded of the scripture in 3 Nephi 13 about putting the Kingdom of God first and all these things shall be added unto you. Not to worry about food, clothing or shelter and all will be taken care of. When I feel the burdens of life coming down upon my shoulders, I just try to change my focus on what is needed right now. There are some things just out of my control that can't be fussed over for too long. I am constantly reminded of the tender mercies of the Lord. My testimony of my Savior and a loving Heavenly Father are strengthened daily.

Life has been hard. When I look back on the past year I start to remember the heart aches, the losses, the sacrifices, the readjustments, the refining fires, the tests of faith, and the rescueing. I feel like Peter walking on water some days. How is it possible? Is there anything too hard for the Lord? I guess not. Trusting him and his wisdom is key. As for me - I'm really nothing in all this. Just one more instrument trying to help build Zion in my little corner of the universe - wondering if anything I'm doing will make a difference at all.

There are so many others dealing with so much more than me. And yet - my problems are just as important to the Lord. I don't know how he does it. I have enough trouble keeping up with just 3 kids. How does he handle the problems of billions? And yet he does. Individually and personally. It's amazing.

I feel incredibly lucky to have the knowledge I have about the plan of salvation and the atonement. As I associate with these good people in Rockdale and hear their testimonies I can't help but think - "There's so much more. Why don't you want to know the rest of the good news? How can you be content with the skeleton of knowledge you have and not want the whole picture?" How can I share it with people who are afraid of my beliefs and my church? If they only knew how incredibly simple their lives could be with this knowledge. Life is easier when you have purpose and understand the grand plan of things. As my wonderful secretary says, "Life without the gospel just doesn't make sense."

And I think of those who don't attend on a regular basis. What has cropped up into their lives to distract them from what is essential and most important? Why would anyone give up the blessings of membership in the true church of Christ? Why would anyone throw away the peace of the Spirit in their lives? I don't get that. I hate missing church even when I have a good excuse. I love renewing my covenants, taking the sacrament, hearing the talks, feeling the spirit, learning what Heavenly Father wants me to know for the week. Who would give it up so easily? And yet so many do. And then there's the temple - I LOVE the temple. Who would throw away their right to enter that incredible place? When temptations come as they will, I am reminded of the peace I feel in the temple. There are just some things not worth giving up. Any reasons are merely excuses. Because - when you put God first, everything else falls into place. So - got faith?

Life in the fast lane - time to pull over

General Conference has brought with it a chance to slow down and contemplate. These past few months have thrown us into the fast lane of life. Jhonny has taken off on his job as a kindergarten teacher and that keeps him pretty busy. He always has great stories to tell about his sweet students. He is lucky to have such a supportive staff and principal.
I have kept busy substitute teaching in Rockdale and Cameron. I've enjoyed being back in the schools. This town is getting smaller for me. I recognize more people at Walmart and have now seen the faces of kids that my neighbors have bragged about. I am still asked if I am new to Rockdale. Although we've been here for two years, comparatively that's new I suppose. I'm not sure how long we have to live here to not claim being new anymore. Tis the way of small towns I guess.
Yesterday I reveled in the Spirit and found myself moved often by stories of faith and testimony. I could relate as one speaker talked of the steps of deliverance from adversity. "And he lightened their burdens insomuch that they could not feel the burden upon their backs." How often I have felt that way. It is only in retrospect that I realize the gravity of the burdens on our little family this past year. I am overcome with gratitude for the hand of the Lord that has guided us and carried us through it all. I don't know that we have been delivered yet - but the way is always being prepared. And I can say as Eve said, "It is better. . ."
I am more committed to live a life without hypocrisy. I see a need to work on my "temperance" at home. I'm also grateful for the counsel to be consistent and diligent in our efforts to teach our children the gospel. How often have I wondered if family prayer, scripture study, and Family Home Evening are doing any good when my kids are screaming, whining, wiggling, and for the most part not even paying attention? It's good to know that even if they get nothing out of the lesson that the habit is the key.
How comforting to know that Heavenly Father is mindful and still loves us in spite of the difficulties that have swept our nation. He has and will provide.