Emotional End of March 2017

 The end of March was quite emotional. Jessica and I went to see Beautiful a musical about Carole King. It was amazing. Loved it better than all the others this year. The next day I left with my parents for Dixie's funeral in Utah. Most all of the grandkids were there for the funeral. It was a sad occasion and I bawled my eyes out. She really was gone too soon. The ME has reported that they couldn't find a reason for her death. She was found on her couch with a little Advil in her system. Mom said there was bruising on her temple. I'm sure she had some kind of heart attack or stroke, but there wasn't much evidence of anything. She passed Thursday night and was found Monday in her apartment. My aunts and some cousins are taking her death very hard. I'm sad for her loss but I know where she is. It's hard to imagine that she passed. Jenny is taking it hardest of all. She just wants answers where none can be found. The real answers are found in the faith that she rejected long ago. Who knows if she can find that again in this life. Here are some photos from the funeral. I'll try to upload the video of the national state park service call in her honor. A cherry tree was planted at Independence Hall in her memory.

June and Me. I miss this girl. Her children remind me of her when she was their age. Full of spunk and smiles. Love her.

My nieces, Susie, Sophie, Sydney, Sammie (Spencer's girls)

Dodie, Matthew, Spencer

Dirk, Jodie, Amanda, Stewart or Jacob

John and Kory's family (Colleen's oldest daughter)

Me and Aunt Dodie (Rob's ex-wife)

Dixie's park ranger hat

Mom at the memorial after. Grandma likes to have a family meeting like this - kind of like a testimony meeting where everyone gets up and shares memories of the dearly departed. I wonder if we'll have one of these when she goes.

Tanya and me. She did some energy work on me the night before. She's really gotten good at this kind of thing. It's so her.

Me and Jerry. We spent a few hours reminiscing about how much we influenced each other when we were younger and how much we enjoyed each others' friendship. Best uncle ever. I was touched by his endearment and admiration. He found my song that he wrote for me and I asked how he did that. He said that he just listens to how he feels and then it comes out in his music. I thought - wow he must really love me to produce something so beautiful. I was humbled to think I inspired that in him. How grateful I am for my uncle and our special bond. It is very healing considering some of the not so nice relationships I've dealt with. It's nice to have that kind of special relationship that will last forever. Besides his wife and daughter, I think the other important women in his life have been Dixie and me. Losing her was hard on him. 

Not sure what happened with this picture, but I didn't really get a good one of grandma at the funeral. Love her. 

After the ceremony, I drove up to Idaho with Dad to visit Grandma Ellis. It was so good to surprise her. . .twice. With her dementia, she didn't remember we were there when she saw me in the morning it was a surprise all over again. We talked about her being ready to go. She said that if the Lord wanted to call her home she was ready to go and do His will. She was tired of being sick. I rubbed her feet with lotion, felt her love, listened to her joke with Grandpa and make me laugh. I didn't cry the whole visit. I am so grateful I have those sweet memories with her. 2 weeks later after taking her off of her medication, she passed as well. I love you so much Grandma. Thank you for loving me and being such a great example of faith and family. 

I enjoyed watching this interaction with Dad and Grandma. I'm glad he took the time to go and visit his mom. It really was the last time he saw her alive. The love is evident. 

Kim and Tammy's family came to visit Sunday morning and brought dinner. I grabbed some food, listened to some stories and then took off to visit Leejean. She was recovering from childbirth and the trauma of finding out her middle child was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. When I said goodbye to Grandma and let her know I needed to go see Leejean. She asked what happened. I briefly explained and she said, "You need to go to her. Is there anything we can do?" I said, "Just prayers Grandma." She looked relieved and said, "We can do prayers. Love you. Go be with Leejean." I hugged her and left.

Leejean and I visited for a couple of hours before my dad picked me up to take me to the airport in SLC. She was having a rough time with the news. I knew that she was also complicating everything with little sleep and postpartum. After our talk about having faith and that things would be fine, I handed her this precious baby. I remembered how she told me the Lord told her that He was giving her a gift in this pregnancy. This little boy was so perfect and so peaceful. I handed him to her and said, "Hold your gift. How can you doubt when you look at that?" She agreed and smiled. I told her I wanted a photo - but only if she was looking at her boy. This photo represents tender mercies and the miracles of the Lord in difficult times. He really does bless our lives.