Dia de tristeza

January 2005 just before leaving to go back home to Texas. This was the last time we saw Clara Guerra (Grandma with her hand on Jhonny's shoulder) in person. We recieved the news this afternoon that she passed away at 11:00am this morning after struggling with a series of heart attacks and hospitalization. We knew the time was near, but it came all too soon anyway. We've been tossing around the idea of sending Jhonny back this summer, but just didn't have the money or the pass port ready to go.
Jhonny tried calling all week, but no one answered the phone. They were likely at the hospital so she could undergo treatments.
I remember Clara laying on her bed complaining about her chest hurting. It didn't seem to slow her down too much. She still made the best chicken soup according to Jhonny. Although I might disagree, you can't convince him of that and I doubt I will ever come close to replicating it. I also remember how sweet she was to me. Always with a smile and beso. I often teased Jhonny that she loved me more than him.
 I didn't always understand her quick spanish, but her eyes twinkled and she was kind. She wanted to keep Jessica when we were there. She said, "Just leave her here for a year." Uhh, no, but that was her. She took in everyone. Almost all of Jhonny's siblings were raised for a while under her roof.
My first recollection was when I dropped off Jhonny. I heard her voice bellowing out at someone. I've often heard Jhonny with that same bellow at our kids. It reminds me of her. And then when she saw me she stopped short wondering who I was. I came in, introduced myself and kissed her on the cheek (Venezuelan culture). It took her by surprise I think and she sweetened right up. After that she and her husband were often blessing me and sending their greetings to my parents.
I think I broke her heart when I announced that we would be coming back to the states before Jessica was born. I had been telling Jhonny to tell her for a while and I was left in a precarious position of letting her know when confronted with a direct question about our plans. She didn't say anything, but I could tell she didn't care to hear that news. I was taking her baby and great grand baby away.
So when I felt the inspiration to go back in 2005, I couldn't ignore it. Mostly because I felt that she would never forgive me for keeping her great grandbaby away from meeting her in this life. I'm glad now that we have these photos and the memories. I wish we could have afforded to travel there every summer. If the price of flights were only cheaper, we might have attempted it.
Now, we have our memories and they have our prayers. Clara - we will miss you. Especially tu hijo.