Good News Bad News

Well, I'm not pregnant anymore - so the branch camp out next month should be more fun than last year.
Details. . . I started losing the baby today. The doctor isn't in the office so I guess I'll find out Monday if I require a DNC or not. The nurse at the nurse's station at the hospital told me not to bother coming in since they couldn't really do anything more for me there than I can do here. That's all I know so far.
Thanks to everyone for your prayers. I've felt your support through all of this and I'm fine. I'm surprised this little one hung in there for so long. Hopefully next time, my body will be better equipped to handle a pregnancy through full term.

Romans 5:3-5

3. . .we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;
4 And patience, experience; and experience, hope;
5 And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.

Still Waiting. . .

This baby is fighting I guess, because nothing new has happened. I don't know when my next appointment will be so we're still waiting. I'll let you know when or if I do lose the baby for sure.

No fooling Lily

Jessica: Hey, Lily, I have an idea! Why don't you give me half of your chocolate chunk bar and you can keep half of your chocolate chunk bar for yourself?
Lily: I don't think that's a great idea.

Waiting . . .

For those of you checking in on our lives here, I suppose an update is imperative. A few weeks ago I had my first doctor's appointment for our surprise pregnancy. By my calculations I should have been at about 7 1/2 weeks. The sonogram measured the baby at 5 weeks and 3 days. Somewhat small and made me curious about how they were measuring. The heartbeat was a bit slow, but the doctor said it was a little early so he wasn't worried. Then he noticed something that indicated an early miscarriage. He asked me to come back in a week.

I returned a little worried, but confident that all would be well. However when I saw the sonogram, I knew it wasn't good. The measurement was only 6 weeks after 7 days and I could barely pick out the heartbeat. It seemed non-existant. The doctor told me it was more than likely I would lose the baby although with a heartbeat at all there was a slight room for hope.

After crying all the way home and going through all the emotions of grief over the weekend, many prayers and a blessing later, I've regained my composure, accepted the inevitable and returned to the doctor's office again today with Jhonny this time to bolster me up.

The sonogram read 6 weeks 1 day and the heart rate was 60 per minute. The normal rate is above 100. So as I've been told again and again - it's all in God's hands and it seems like only a matter of time before we say goodbye to this little one we'd hoped would join the family in October.

I asked for a print out of the sonogram today. I wanted something to remember this one by and if it leaves us this week, it may the last time we get the chance. It's tough waiting for the end when you know it should be any day and that day just hasn't come. . .

Tears of Joy & Pain

It was a tough fight, but Mom finally knocked it out. 6 baby teeth gone. . .

Many faces of Motherhood

This past weekend Jhonny and I were discussing Career and life choices. As we brainstormed what it is he wants to do with his life other than just make money. . . he asked me about my career choices. After pondering I realized that I am exactly where I want to be at this time in my life. A mom.

Perhaps in a few years I may have the desire to go back to work and continue on the counseling path, but for now - my kids are my priority. They're only young once and then they're gone. I don't want to miss this important step in my life and theirs. So I have no regrets. I was happy when I was teaching, even happier as a school counselor, but motherhood is priceless.

So even though number four is coming a little sooner than I'd planned, I'm looking forward to our new addition. That is if this baby will make it all the way. The doctor gave me a scare on Friday about a possible miscarriage, but come what may - the show must go on. The Lord knows what He is doing. He's always been in control of this miracle called birth - so if this is meant to be, it will be. Meanwhile, I'm told that morning sickness is a GOOD sign. Ugh. . .